Monica Mesecar
[Image Description]: Monica sits in a power chair during one of her early lab experiences.
[Image Description]: Monica poses in her "Neuroscientist Starter Pack" sweatshirt while at the National Institute of Health (NIH).
[Image Description]: Monica presents her research poster at the end of her PREP program at the University of Michigan.
[Image Description]: Monica poses next to a photo of neuroscience legend, Ramón y Cajal, shortly after starting at the NIH.
(she/her)
Meet Monica Mesecar, an aspiring neuroscientist.
Follow Monica on Instagram at @monicas_musings
Disclaimer: Monica works at the National Institute of Health. Any opinions expressed in this article are solely her own and do not represent those of the NIH or any of her previous institutions.
Tell us about your STEM: what do you do, what do you love about it, and what brought you to the field?
Currently, I am pursuing a post-baccalaureate research fellowship at the National Institutes of Health, where I analyze single-nucleus RNA sequencing data from post-mortem human brain tissue to investigate gene expression changes that occur during brain aging. Single-nucleus RNA sequencing allows us to investigate gene expression changes at the cell-type level, allowing us to get a more granular look at what cell populations may be driving these changes. I’ve loved getting to learn computational and bioinformatic skills through this experience, as this was new for me.
My STEM journey has been a rather winding one. I was privileged enough to grow up with a father who is an academic, and he really indulged my innate curiosity as a child. From early trips to the lab (though I was originally most interested in checking out the peanut M&M dispenser in his office), to crystal-growing kits, raising “aquasaurs” together, and my first microscope kit, he always provided me with opportunities to engage with science. Yet, I never considered pursuing science as a discipline until high school. In high school, I was inspired by two things—the first was a show called Mystery Diagnosis, where families detailed their experiences struggling to get diagnosed with complex conditions. I was fascinated with the underlying mechanisms of these conditions, but also troubled by the often multi-year diagnostic odysseys these people went through, which prolonged distress and delayed care. Sitting in front of the TV for hours watching this show motivated me to want to help improve the understanding of such conditions in order to help people achieve these diagnostic answers faster, so that they could gain clarity and access to treatment. At the same time, I was also witnessing friends struggle with severe mental illness and having recently learned about the “chemical imbalance” hypothesis, I became intrigued by the possibility of investigating the role of neurotransmitters in psychiatric conditions. The combined influence of my father, the patients on Mystery Diagnosis, and my friends set me on the path of becoming a scientist.
Realizing this interest, I decided to pursue the life sciences during my undergraduate years, but as a new power wheelchair-user, I was unsure of how to successfully navigate a university lab setting. In discussing my concerns with my father, he offered me the opportunity to spend the summer before I started college in his lab, so that we could troubleshoot together and figure out what accommodations I would need (which I’ll explain below). What I didn’t expect to learn was just how much I enjoyed research. Despite spending a whole summer trying to purify one protein, the sense of accomplishment I felt, along with the satisfaction of learning something new, inspired me to return for a second summer. Without my father providing me with that initial experience, I believe it would’ve been significantly harder for me to break into STEM, as I would not have had a framework to understand and articulate what I needed to be successful. It also gave me an experience to “prove” to potential future mentors that I could, in fact, do research. In learning from the experiences of other disabled professionals, many often cite a particular individual who was willing to set aside biases and prejudices to “take a chance on them”, and for me, that catalyst was my dad.
My work with my father solidified my interest in pursuing research professionally, so for the summer after my sophomore year, I ended up pursuing a National Science Foundation (NSF)-funded Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU) program through the University of Delaware that was specifically tailored to students with disabilities in STEM. This experience was transformative because my mentor, Dr. Karl Booksh, who led the program, also uses a wheelchair, and I was able to learn from the experiences of him and my other cohort members. This was my first time connecting with other disabled folks in STEM, and the camaraderie and sense of kinship I felt motivated me to continue on and instilled in me the idea that my disability should not be a barrier to me having a successful scientific journey.
Despite this confidence, though, when I sought research opportunities at my undergraduate institution, I struggled to find opportunities to pursue research that were both accessible to me and that aligned with my blossoming interest in neuroscience. I briefly spent time in a cognitive neuroscience lab studying memory and attention, but I realized that I missed the wet-lab and being fewer degrees of separation from human health and disease—the things that initially drew me to research. At this point in time, the pandemic halted any further bench research, so I chose to take coursework that explored clinical research on rare and neglected neurological diseases, which resonated with my early interest in Mystery Diagnosis. Given that upon graduating from college, I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to engage in neuroscience research that aligned with my particular interests, I sought a post-baccalaureate research experience through the University of Michigan’s Post-Baccalaureate Research Education Program (PREP), which allowed me to pursue neuroscience bench research for two years. Here, I studied how mutations to neuronal membrane proteins implicated in autism and epilepsy affected the binding properties of the proteins and the structure of neurons, as well as how mutations in a particular protein may be related to the clinical presentation of a movement disorder. I loved that this experience combined my interests in neuroscience, biochemistry, and rare disease. Yet, mentorship transitions and physical and health challenges limited my productivity and impact, which motivated me to pursue my second post-baccalaureate experience at NIH.
I was granted a research fellowship at the NIH through their Office of Intramural Training and Education’s (OITE) Post-Baccalaureate Enrichment Program (PEP), which covered the first year of my training. Initially, I was unsure about transitioning to computational-centered research, as oftentimes, folks with disabilities are often relegated to computational work due to ableist assumptions about wet-lab work not being feasible. However, I have found the bioinformatics skills that I have gained to be an incredible asset that complements my wet-lab background, while also allowing me to work more independently with fewer access barriers. I can say that my experience at NIH in the Laboratory of Neurogenetics (LNG; PI: Dr. Mark R. Cookson) have made me feel exceptionally supported, since before I even started due to the attitude of “There’s plenty for you to do here, and we will find what works and/or make things work”, rather than being met with hesitation. As a result, I have just sent out my first-ever paper (which also happens to be my first first-author paper) for review. My experience here has strengthened my desire to pursue a PhD in the biomedical sciences, where I hope to find a way to combine my interests in neuroscience, biochemistry, and genetics that will allow me to engage in both bench-top and computational work.
I want to add a note to say that, unfortunately, each one of these wonderful programs that provided me access to research opportunities are currently inactive due to a lack of funding, as they were each geared towards students from underrepresented backgrounds/groups (e.g. disability status). This is deeply saddening and troubling, as I think my experience illustrates how these programs serve as springboards to future opportunities and carve paths to successful STEM careers that people from these groups may otherwise have trouble accessing. I hope that they can be reinstated in the future.
What accessibility tools allow you to thrive?
I have Cerebral Palsy (CP), which in my case primarily affects my balance, gait and endurance. For this reason, I use a variety of mobility aids—including crutches, a walker, and mainly, a power wheelchair. To accommodate my mobility challenges, I have iLevel functionality on my power chair, which allows me to change the height of my chair to accommodate any surface height, whether that be a lab bench or a computer desk. Additionally, I asked for automatic door buttons to be installed on particular doors within my lab area to allow me easy access, which was granted and installed by NIH. I also received an ergonomic evaluation, where they suggested accommodations for my workspace, which my PI supported. Collaboration with my lab members has also been essential—I asked my PI if I could keep a backup walker in the lab, which he supported, and everyone within the lab is intentional about keeping aisles and walkways clear to allow me easy passage. In many labs, space is at a premium, so equipment often spills out into these areas, which had been an issue for me in the past.
My CP also impacts my dexterity, particularly in my fingers, and I deal with significant spasticity (muscle tightness) that can cause spasms. These challenges can make fine motor tasks, such as pipetting, pouring, carrying items, buttoning, and typing difficult. For these challenges, I’ve done things like get a lab coat that Velcros or snaps, ask for plastic labware instead of glass, request ergonomic pipettes, request use of pipettes that reduce repetition (repeater or multi-channel), and use speech-to-text software. For situations that couldn’t be addressed with adaptive equipment, my lab recruited assistance for me (e.g. other lab members or an undergraduate volunteer) to support completion of cumbersome physical tasks, under my direction. While possible, the need for additional equipment or personnel can be a barrier, so I appreciate that computational work allows me to work more independently and from a variety of locations if weather or wheelchair issues make it physically difficult for me to enter lab.
Yet, computational work does not eliminate all of my challenges. As I stated, typing can be difficult so speech-to-text software is helpful. Yet, this doesn’t really work well for coding. So, for especially intensive tasks that may require repetition, I will do as much as I can manually, and then employ limited, intentional use of large language models (LLMs, e.g. Perplexity, ChatGPT) to help me in streamlining my code to be more efficient. Though it is important to not put data/proprietary info into these models and use them thoughtfully as a supportive tool, rather than a replacement. Not only to maximize your own learning but to be mindful of the associated environmental cost—it is a balance for sure.
Lastly, my CP also affects me cognitively, as it takes me physically longer to execute a task, slows my processing speed (especially as info becomes more complex), and impacts my executive dysfunction in ways that are similar to ADHD (I just self-describe as “neurodivergent” for ease). The accommodations here are really just about setting up structures that support my success. I have disclosed to my PI, so he is aware that things may take me longer. But we also meet regularly in both project-specific meetings and 1:1 chats, so that I can ensure I am making sufficient progress and troubleshoot any challenges. We also work together to break down larger tasks (e.g. write the paper) into smaller action items with goal “due dates”. My post-doc mentor, who I work with on a more day-to-day basis, is also involved in these, and is great about giving me time to process and allowing me talk through complex topics, so that he can help me clear up any misunderstandings or mental blocks I may be facing. Both of them also understand the unpredictability of disability (e.g. wheelchair issues, medical appointments, fatigue) that may necessitate me coming into the lab later or working remotely.
What do you want people to know about being disabled in STEM?
I think I would like people to know that STEM encompasses such a wide range of fields, techniques, and career paths, that it would be short-sighted to assume that people with disabilities “can’t do STEM”, when in fact, this diversity of opportunities opens up a wide-range of possibilities—you just have to be open-minded enough to conceptualize them and willing to listen. Times are changing, there’s more than one way to be a scientist and engage in research. All of the accommodations that I described above came from an open, collaborative conversation where my PI took the time to listen and centered my being successful as the ultimate goal. While establishing this open dialogue can be difficult and vulnerable at first (for all parties), in my experience, its the most surefire way to ensure that both trainee and mentor are on the same page and that appropriate supports are in place. I’ve found that making assumptions without having a conversation is the quickest route to finding trouble.
Additionally, that there *are* indeed accommodations that can be made to help a trainee be successful and maximize independence. I think my experience demonstrates that if mentors can approach such conversations with a “what can we do to support your success?” Or “what are the barriers you’re facing?” mindset versus a “these are the problems I have” or “this is what you’re doing wrong/failing at” mindset, the conversations will end up being a lot more positive and productive. A lot of times, if a mentorship experience is unsuccessful, it stems from a mismatch of/unclear expectations or unaddressed access barriers which often stems from a lack of communication. If attempts at communication have been made, it often indicates an inflexibility or resistance to adaptation.
What advice would you give to someone with a disability looking to enter the STEM world?
For those just starting out and looking to explore, I’d suggest leaning into online communities. There are so many more resources out there now, like The Disabled CoLab, DisabledInSTEM, Labdaptations, The Disabled Academic Collective, etc. These communities provide real-life examples of people who have pursued these careers and you can learn from their lived experiences, both positive and negative. For those who are actively looking for opportunities, if you can find specific programs for folks from marginalized groups (incl. disability) that is a great place to start in terms of finding supportive structures/environments. But, as you can probably glean from my experiences, your experience will be extremely dependent on the attitudes and outlook of your mentor(s). Therefore, it is essential that you vet them as much as you can, and one way to do this is to talk to EVERYONE (trainees at all levels within the lab, not just the PI) from post-docs down to undergrads to get a sense of your lab’s environment and mentorship style to see if they align with your needs. Moreover, I think people often overlook seeking out lab alumni to ask about their experiences, as they have the benefit of hindsight.
Lastly, if you feel comfortable, after you have some interest (ideally from multiple parties), I would recommend some level of disability disclosure because, while vulnerable, their reactions and responses can also help you weed out what environments will be supportive. Lastly, if it comes down to a decision of a better fitting/more interesting research topic and a more supportive environment, I’d suggest going with the more supportive environment because you’ll be more successful (e.g. learn more, make more progress) in an environment where you aren’t constantly worried about whether you’ll be supported. The fact that success is often so dependent on the individual attitudes of one’s mentors is overwhelming, and I want to acknowledge that even when you think you have done everything possible to ensure fit, at the end of the day, it may not end up like you hoped. All the onus should NOT lie with the trainee in terms of finding/creating a supportive environment. Mentors should strive to create a positive and supportive learning environment for ALL trainees and actively seek out opportunities to do so or specific training/development opportunities if they find themselves struggling to mentor and support trainees from diverse backgrounds.
What tools do you wish were made available to you when navigating STEM?
Oftentimes, people’s hesitation came from there not being a “playbook” for how to accommodate trainees with disabilities. So, I wish there was a STEM-specific resource similar to the “Job Accommodation Network” website that detailed examples of laboratory accommodations and safety measures for trainees with a variety of disabilities. I also wish labs were more intentionally designed for effective navigation (e.g. wider, larger spaces) and with dedicated storage spaces for reagents and equipment. I also think there should be specific budgets for adaptive technology and ergonomic equipment for all trainees and employees, as these can benefit everyone. Lastly, I think having dedicated mentorship pipelines for new trainees is crucial, especially if you can incorporate an identity-matching element (e.g. both trainee and mentor are disabled) but many programs don’t even consider disability in their inclusion work. \
What are you looking for in terms of support from employers/ institutions as a disabled person in STEM?
I described this a lot above, but if I had to summarize, I would say: an open mind, willingness to have an open dialogue and learn, flexibility, humility, an attitude of “we will find a way”, and a genuine care for the learning and success of trainees.
Bonus: Questions to ask of either PIs and/or lab members
I wrote these for my post-bacc interviews, adapt for other roles and goals as appropriate. Be sure to get multiple perspectives from other lab members.
Questions to Ask:
What is your vision for the role of a post-bacc?
What would I be working on? Own project or with someone? With whom?
How do you work with students who don’t come in knowing the project background or know techniques/methodologies?
What are your expectations for the entry-level of skill/responsibility?
How involved are we in the project design process/scientific thinking?
How do you guide your trainees to reach a point of independent thinking/project ownership?
How would you describe your mentorship style?
What is the mentorship structure of the lab?
What is your level of involvement?
Frequency of meetings?
How many people are currently in your group? How many are post-baccs?
How/what are your former post-baccs doing?
Does work in your group have any particular structure or schedule?
How will I receive feedback on both my project work and performance as a trainee?
As someone who is interested in PhD, how do you support trainees during the application process?
How do you support post-bacc trainees to present at field-specific conferences (other than poster days)?
What steps do you take to ensure that your trainees are progressing towards their goals/in their project?
If a trainee makes a mistake or falls short of expectations, how is that handled?
If a trainee has a health issue, family crisis, etc. how are these unexpected situations handled? What are your expectations?
Do you support your trainees taking time outside of lab for professional development (I.e. workshops, clinical shadowing, informational courses, conferences, seminars, lectures, advising)?
What type of trainees tend to struggle in your lab? What type of students tend to be the most successful?
Connecting with current and past post-baccs?
How would you describe your communication style?
Questions for/About PIs:
What is the primary knowledge gap/question/problem that drives your research?
What motivated you to enter this area of study?
What are your expectations for communication?
What is your philosophy surrounding the purpose of Phd training?
What are your expectations for a poster, presentation, and/or some level of paper authorship?
What is your view on working late nights/weekends?
